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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327697">You can't arrest me... I have homework</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/First_page/pseuds/First_page'>First_page</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whump &amp; Webs [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Peter Parker, Angry Tony Stark, Dirty Secret, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker arrested, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Whump, Whumptober 2020, whumptober prompt 17, wrongfully accused</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:00:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,046</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/First_page/pseuds/First_page</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter gets arrested and Tony is not happy when he has to come bail him out. Peter's arrest is a misunderstanding, but unfortunately it causes Peter and Tony's first fight. The argument ends with a confession from both of them.</p>
<p>Whumptober prompt 17: Dirty secret, wrongfully accused<br/>The Irondad is strong with this one :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whump &amp; Webs [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You can't arrest me... I have homework</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one was hard to write because I'm the least confrontational person in the world so writing an argument was really hard lol. Anyway, I hope you like it. Peter and Tony are just such a cute father son duo.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter’s sitting in the most uncomfortable metal chair, in the most uncomfortable windowless room, and his stomach twists in the most uncomfortable way. The stone grey walls and the dim light that snakes down from one single hanging light bulb makes this the most intimidating place that Peter has even been in.</p>
<p>It’s by design. You’re supposed to be uncomfortable when you’ve been arrested. Criminals shouldn’t feel relaxed.</p>
<p>Peter has been in this interrogation room for hours. He’s at a desk with a chair across from him, but that chair has been empty for just as many hours.</p>
<p>Peter taps his foot, which turns into bouncing his knee, and escalates into a seated march as he tries to calm his nerves. The windowless room seemed bigger when he first entered it. He shakes his head, wondering if claustrophobia is a good enough excuse to call the officer back to the room.</p>
<p>His whole body is fidgeting with nervous energy and adrenaline. He wonders if he’s going to get a bathroom break any time soon.</p>
<p>His thoughts are interrupted by a metal door creaking. He doesn’t dare turn his head to look at who just entered the room.  He isn’t handcuffed or restrained in any way, but the officer had ordered him not to move two hours ago, so Peter has been trying as hard as he can to avoid adding another crime to his rap sheet.</p>
<p>The person that entered the room comes into Peter’s field of vision from the left side. Peter recognizes the person and for some reason it makes him even more nervous. “Um, hi Agent Coulson.”</p>
<p>The SHIELD agent sits down on the chair across from Peter and puts a clipboard on the table. He puts his glasses on and looks at the papers instead of Peter. “Peter Parker. This is surprising. And no need to be formal. Call me Phil. It’s easier to talk to a hardened criminal if we are on a first name basis.”</p>
<p>Peter doesn’t know how to respond. Phil always speaks in a matter-of-fact tone so it’s hard to tell if he’s joking or not.</p>
<p>Phil doesn’t give Peter much time to think before he gets to the point. “SHIELD has better things to do than breaking young delinquents out of jail. If you plan to make this a habit, I assure you, there will be issues in future dealings.”</p>
<p>Peter shakes his head. “I’m not a juvenile delinquent.”</p>
<p>Phil looks over the rim of his glasses. “When faced with criminal charges, being young is an asset. Getting you out of big boy jail is much harder.”</p>
<p>Peter frowns. “But I <em>am </em>a big boy – er, I mean, an adult. Well not technically, but I’m not like a little kid.”</p>
<p>Phil looks back at the clipboard and continues to write.</p>
<p>Peter takes a long sigh. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m innocent?”</p>
<p>“Don’t care.”</p>
<p>“But –.”</p>
<p>Phil holds up a hand while still showing more interest in the stack of papers on the clipboard than Peter. “Look, I’m here to make this go away. You broke into your high school, you damaged a lot of property, and I’m here to make it go away.”</p>
<p>Peter’s becoming more desperate. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”</p>
<p>Phil glances up and then back down. “Doesn’t matter if you did. I’m not here as a lawyer, I’m here as a fixer. You do something stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous, I fix it. Trust me, I’m good at this. I’ve bailed out your friend Tony more times than I can count.”</p>
<p>A familiar archer from the corner of the room snorts. “You can’t count to five Phil? The prerequisites for becoming a SHIELD agent are lower than I thought.”</p>
<p>Peter hopes a conversation with Clint is more fruitful. “Are you here to yell at me?”</p>
<p>Clint leans back in his chair, half in shadow and half out. “Nah. I’m here because Phil was called. This is the second romantic dinner that you’ve interrupted, kid.”</p>
<p>Peter shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t do what they’re saying I did.”</p>
<p>Phil holds up a pen. “I’m going to stop you there. If I hear anything incriminating, I can’t make this go away. I’d advised you to say nothing.”</p>
<p>“But –.”</p>
<p>Phil frowns. “That includes whining. Whining counts in a court of law.”</p>
<p>Peter gives up. “Fine, but can you answer one question?”</p>
<p>“Maybe.”</p>
<p>Peter sighs. “How did you even know that I got arrested? I told the police officer that I didn’t want a phone call. If Aunt May finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”</p>
<p>Phil hands Peter an ink pad. “Dip your pointer finger in this and stamp it on the blank spot on the page. And to answer your question, when an Avenger, or an Avenger in training like yourself, does something that warrants being sent to central booking, an alarm goes off on my end. I can easily go over these local cops heads, so I informed them if they said a word to you or touched a hair on your head, they would feel the full extent of the federal government come down upon them. That’s why you were left alone until I arrived.”</p>
<p>Peter bites his lip. “You said an alarm went off?”</p>
<p>Phil nods.</p>
<p>Peter winces. “Would that alarm reach Mr. Stark?”</p>
<p>Phil smirks. “I did not inform Tony of your current misdemeanor, but I’m sure he knows.”</p>
<p>Peter groans. “I can’t believe this is happening.”</p>
<p>Clint laughs. “Don’t sweat it. Tony has done way worse, he can’t really yell at you for this.”</p>
<p>Phil lifts an eyebrow. “That’s not how life works Clint.”</p>
<p>There’s a long stretch of silence before Peter speaks again. “Did I really ruin dinner?”</p>
<p>Clint cracks his neck. “Yup. But we can deal with that later. You need to deal with one crime at a time.”</p>
<p>The door flies open and Tony storms into the room. “Why the fuck am I at a police station?”</p>
<p>Phil interrupts. “I’m almost done with the paperwork. Peter was charged with breaking and entering and petty vandalism.”</p>
<p>Tony narrows his eyes, speaking to Phil, but not taking his eyes off of Peter. “How much do I have to pay to make this go away?”</p>
<p>Peter rolls his eyes. “It’s not like the paparazzi were there. You don’t have to pay off the tabloids.”</p>
<p>Tony raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think that it’s a good idea to speak?”</p>
<p>Peter frowns. “I thought you would want to hear my side of the story.”</p>
<p>Tony closes the door and locks it. “I don’t think the whole precinct needs to hear how much of a brat you’re acting like right now.”</p>
<p>Clint stands. “Um, I don’t think we should be here.”</p>
<p>Tony’s eyes shift to Clint. “Park it Bird boy.”</p>
<p>Tony redirects his anger back to Peter. “What the hell kid? I thought you were better than this.”</p>
<p>It’s Peter’s turn to yell. “You didn’t even ask me what happened? No one has. Does my side of the story even matter?”</p>
<p>Tony twitches. He doesn’t like to be yelled at, especially from the kid that calls him Mr. Stark.</p>
<p>Tony takes a measured breath. “Did you break into the high school?”</p>
<p> “Yes.”</p>
<p>Tony takes another breath. “Did you break anything.”</p>
<p>“Um, technically yes, but it’s not what you think.”</p>
<p>Peter expects Tony to end the conversation right then and there, but his mentor is clenching his jaw. “Go on. I won’t interrupt. You want to talk? <em>Talk.”</em></p>
<p>Peter shivers at the icy tone that Tony has adopted, but presses on. “Ok, so like I said, I broke into the school, but I didn’t do it so I could, like, do bad things. I went to the school because I needed chemicals from the Chem lab to make more web fluid. The chemistry lab is the only place, other than your lab, that I can synthesize the polymers. I don’t always want to beg you for things. I want to be, I don’t know, independent? So I snuck in after hours.”</p>
<p>Tony crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall, so Peter continues. “I didn’t trip the alarm or anything, and things were going good. I made enough for fifty cartridges and I was just about to leave, but I heard a noise from the hallway. When I looked, there were some guys, seniors, and they were breaking the glass on the trophy cabinet and taking the trophies. I yelled for them to stop and they ran away and I thought it was because I scared them off, but there was a security guy that I didn’t see and he thought I was the one that was destroying the glass and I couldn’t tell him what I was really doing, so, um, you know the rest.”</p>
<p>Tony rubs his forehead. “Hmmm.”</p>
<p>Peter winces. “Is that a good hmm or a bad hmm?”</p>
<p>Tony sighs. “Clint, Phil, can I have the room for a minute?”</p>
<p>Clint practically jumps out of his chair. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”</p>
<p>Phil stands slower. “Well, there are some forms that need to be filled out in triplicate. I need your signature as a temporary legal guardian. “</p>
<p>Clint takes Phil by the arm. “I’m sure Tony will be glad to fill those out later. When someone says that you can leave an extremely awkward situation, always take that offer.”</p>
<p>Phil sighs. “I guess we can go to the vending machine. It’s not Mediterranean seafood, but it’s something.”</p>
<p>Clint smirks. “And that’s why I love you, Babe.”</p>
<p>The two leave and Tony sighs. “So, you’re not on your way to being a villain. Good to know.”</p>
<p>Peter yells. “Why didn’t you trust me Mr. Stark?”</p>
<p>Tony raises an eyebrow. “This isn’t going to work if you’re going to yell.”</p>
<p>Peter shoots back. “This isn’t going to work if you jump to wild conclusions.”</p>
<p>Tony nods. “Fair enough.”</p>
<p>Peter continues to yell. “When have I ever done anything that would make you think I was...” His voice cracks as he trails off.</p>
<p>Tony sits on the interrogation chair across from Peter. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”</p>
<p>Peter backpedals. “I shouldn’t have broken into the school. That’s still kind of illegal. I guess we both messed up.”</p>
<p>Tony shakes his head and laughs. “Nice try, but that’s a false equivalence. You did something borderline illegal for the greater good of humanity. I just acted like a jackass and didn’t give my intern the benefit of the doubt.”</p>
<p>Peter nods. “So I’m not punished?”</p>
<p>Tony shakes his head. “You bet your ass you’re still punished. If you need something Spidey related, you come to me first. You should know that. But we’ll deal with that later. As for me, I guess I figured it wasn’t out of the question that you wanted to rebel and do so stupid stuff. I did far worse when I was your age.”</p>
<p>Peter smiles. “Like what?”</p>
<p>Tony smirks. “Another story, for another time. The point is, you’re not me and I shouldn’t treat you like you are.”</p>
<p>Tony leans back in his chair and runs his hand through his hair. “Let me fill you in on my dirty little secret; I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to you. I’ve never been anyone’s idol for any good reason. Sure, people want to be rich and arrogant like me, but no one’s ever looked up to me for being a great guy outside of the suit other than you. And I don’t know how to handle that shit. That’s more of Cap’s thing, not mine.”</p>
<p>Peter smiles. “I think you’re a pretty awesome idol Mr. Stark. And for the record, I look up to you more than Cap.”</p>
<p>Tony winks. “You say it so convincingly I almost believe it.”</p>
<p>Peter laughs.</p>
<p>Tony stands. “C’mon my little criminal, let’s get out of here. What do you say we crash the lovebirds dinner and play third and fourth wheel? You like seafood?”</p>
<p>Peter blushes. “Yeah, but um, do you think I could hit the restroom first? I’ve been here for like, way too many hours and I really have to pee.”</p>
<p>Tony laughs. “Yeah sure. I’ll meet you in the car.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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